I’ve skipped the last few Marvel flix because, like many other people, I’m over it. Decided to try this one and I’m filled with regret. Dakota Johnson plays the central character, an EMT driver who gradually discovers her Spidey powers. She ends up corralling 3 teen girls who will become variations in the Spiderman world…operative word is “will.” In this film, they’re just scared and confused on the run from yet another Spider-suited villain (Tahar Rahim, whose suit is appropriately dark). I’ve never been a big fan of Dakota Johnson and her performance is even more flat than usual. The 3 teens add some adolescent flavor. Since this is an origin story, there’s very little action and it’s unexciting and poorly staged. The only thing to recommend this film is the new Columbia Pictures 100^th logo animation. Sadly, it introduces an uninspired bomb. Ironically, going against typical Marvel fashion, there is no surprise post-credit clip. (1 / 5)

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