IT’S ARTSIE NIGHT (sung to “All That Jazz)
by Georgia Rogers Farmer
Come on y’all
‘Cause you’re the best in town
It’s Artsie Night
I’m gonna hoist my boobs
And try to tame my frown
It’s Artsie Night
I’m so pumped
It’s gonna be so good
Because we’re gonna see
That badass Molly Hood
Up in this noisy hall
And yes, I’m sober, y’all
It’s Artsie Night
Human Terrain
Took us straight to Iraq
It’s Artsie Night
Whipping Man
A war-torn Richmond shock
It’s Artsie Night
Hold on, girl
Do I see Hedwig there
In his fierce-ass wig
Chewin’ gummy bears?
And maybe Carrie White
Will be a bloody sight
On Artsie Night
Caroline or Change
We saw that washer shake
It’s Artsie Night
South Pacific
Hot G.I.’s – for heaven’s sake
It’s Artsie Night
Lyons showed some family drama
Jackie Jones should be my mama
Equivocation’s sneer
For ol’ Shagspeare
On Artsie Night
Find a flask
I need some dancing boys
It’s Artsie Night
You have to watch me dance
‘Cause you don’t have a choice
It’s Artsie Night
Come on, boys
It’s time to celebrate
With all this talent here
It’s hard to keep things straight
‘Cause in the RVA
Dressed up and ready to play
It’s Art…..sie…..Night
Oh, I’m someone’s wife
But, oh I love stage life
And Artsie Night
Ratcock!
RATCOCK (sung to Blondie’s “Rapture”)
by Georgia Rogers Farmer
Row to row
Sitting very close
Barely breathing
Almost comatose
Face to face
Judgey attitude
And you keep believing
Hoping that you’ll be receiving a RATCOCK
Someone in the lobby told me everybody’s high
Deejay Gray says “my, my”
The cast is fast, cast is cool
Wendy Vandergrift, she ain’t no fool
And you don’t stop, sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And there’s Maggie Roop in a chicken coop
And you talk all night and then you see a light
And it comes with a rage and lands on the stage
And out comes a giant prize
And you try to run but they’re so much fun
And they dance around, but don’t make a sound
And then you’re with the giant prize
You go out at night, eatin’ fries
You eat bacon cheese, waffle, too
Sweet potato and curly Q
And you don’t stop, you keep on eatin’ fries
Then, when there’s no more fries
You go out at night and eat up pies and don’t give a damn
Carol & Sam, Virginia ham
Joey Luck, big sound truck
Dance Patti D’Beck
I was better in tech ‘cause the giant prize
Is through with fries, he’s eatin’ pies
Yeah, lesbian quiche, psycho beach, shorter speech
We’re gonna hear ’em all
RATCOCK, knock knock
Who is there? Why it’s Angels in Amer
Don’t strain your brain, Human Terrain
Let’s do singin’ in the rain
I said Bathroom Boy, bok choy
Well, now you see what you wanna be
Just have your party here with me
‘Cause the giant prize won’t eat up fries with Stacey Cabaj
And now it’s time to start act 2
And before you even know it, you’ll be taming the shrew
And you don’t stop, hip-hop
Just blast off, sure shot
‘Cause the giant prize stopped eatin’ fries and eatin’ pies
And now they bid their last goodbyes, get up